Day 25- like stuck and sticky

Tonight I am closed down

Waiting

 shaking from too much truth 

too much open 

too many secrets peeled open

and old death threats 

choking me 

each time 

I started to drift off to sleep 

I'm still here 

I did not die on the spot

the shadows did not come for me in the night

I'm still here but stopped 

like stuck, like sticky 

stamen, 

crushed flower petals 

crumpled dollar bills 

unused condoms in shiny

wrappers 

I am craving a particular touch 

now 

a sparking to you 

I am needing fingers that aren't my own 

and fingers that are my own 

all at once 

in the dark in the light in the rain that fell 

today while the sun was shining 

that warm wet surprise

I want to be 

oh I want to be 

open 

yielding 

wanton thighs are itching to comply 

but there is a frozen stone 

in the center of me 

like a cherry pit 

chewed on and spit out 

hard and sour 

I want more rain 

spit

the scent of you rising 

and me 

I want freedom for my fingers to find 

all the ways in and out and in and out 

of me 

of you 

I want the liquid promise 

I want to taste the hunger 

avarice 

in the air 

in my cunt 

in yours 

I want to tell you a story 

with less dark twisty turns 

with more thrust in hungry

hips 

movement 

wet lips against 

sharp razored edges 

the sound of women moaning 

behind the velvet curtain 

the sound of me moaning 

behind my hand 

that smells like me 

before the rain

that smells like me 

on a good day when shame 

has been tucked beneath

the bible on the bottom shelf

I want to give us 

a place to play 

carnal carnival rides 

lace curtains 

damp panties, boxers, 

the sound of zippers 

the sound of belt buckles 

and sighs

the sound of wet rising and 

spraying out

I want to come right now 

but I can't

there is no room in this tiny place 

to make that happen 

I had to be sneaky 

sly 

to touch me at all today 

and I did 

I did

because I keep my promise 

so my fingers are damp on the keyboard 

my face is damp with stale tears 

my cunt is sore and aching 

I am still here 

wet girl 

no come.