Day-4 My Kind of Baptism

Duncan Leslie 

Since the house is not empty of people the bathroom has become the sanctuary. The bathtub is my vessel and today the water is everything. Just enough warm water in the tub to be able to lay back flat, my head supported by my fingers laced together, arms and elbows under water as I listen to the storm pouring out of the tub faucet. I wiggle my way down so that my ass is bumped up to the edge of the tub, my feet up on the wall and then I just relax into all that hot wet, underneath me, all around me and pouring down.

It's quiet except for the sound of water. I feel the sense of brief privacy and I can breathe all the way in and all the way out again. My feet slide down and I open, my hips relax and it's water, everything is water. My body is liquid too, softening, moving turning into river and pond, fresh water, sea water and a sense of the deep deep. I am engaged, connected, pulled to deep wet blue center. I am clear and see through, I am flesh and not and I am not alone in this masturbation, self touching, self sex, self fucking I am with the wet, the magic of the tides, I am with the movement and flow and I am fucking water.

This isn't quick jack off in a corner, it's not fervent, hurried drive to the orgasm, it's sex- self sex, water sex, mermaid, sea creature, star fish, jelly fish mystery and known all at once. My old brain, my before time brain, back back back before this lifetime when I am an element at work. It's water fucking me and me rocking my hips up to meet it, to be filled up, hot water running over my clit, hot water pouring in and pouring in until I am lost in it, needing no fantasy, needing nothing but this meeting, this opening,  this filling, this fucking water. This does not feel like masturbation, it feels like primal, deeply known, intimate sex with someone who knows me from blood to bone. I could die happy in this moment, so cherished by this wet, so welcome to this water that becomes a force, a fist, a funneling of movement freely given, and taken into me. This is my kind of baptism.